Is it easy to bury the hatchet with ex-flame?

It is popularly believed that it is very difficult to bury the hatchet with ex-flame. But contrary to the popular belief, George Clooney is still friends with his ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson two months after they ended their year-long relationship. In an interview to a British magazine Larson said that she had no regrets about the romance, and revealed the pair still talks and she misses his sense of humour and dancing. “We still remain friends and have kept in touch. In fact, we spoke over the phone a couple of days ago,” she admitted.

The scene is no different in India. Even though Kareena Kapoor is a new entrant in the life of Saif Ali Khan, no one can forget that when Saif was hospitalised, Amrita Singh was there to attend calls and people who showered wishes on him, despite knowing Rossa was in his life. Singer and actress Suchitra Krishnamurthy is sometimes seen with her divorced husband Shekhar Kapoor, and says she is still “Karmically attached to her husband.”

But can an intimate relationship that has gone sour be resurrected? The answer is not that simple as it depends on the persons and the depth of their relationship. If both are ready to bury the hatchet and be good friends, it can happen at any time.

When a person decides to go off from a relationship, he/she thinks a lot to arrive at that crucial conclusion. It does not happen without giving a second thought. When the relationship begins, it becomes intimate. It always rests on high expectations, passion, romance, love and the entire life is associated with the person.

Some feel that ex-partner can not be a friend at all. If the relationship turns sour, it can not be got back, it can not become sweet. One of my friends says that she cannot chat with her ex-flame as a friend, for he would be the person once a major part of her life. She had a very bitter experience in love and her boyfriend left her in lurch two-three years ago. Though she cannot forget him, she cannot have friendship with him. She had dreamt and planned her life with him, and how can anyone expect her to be his friend?

What if after the break-up, they have fallen in love again? Though it is difficult to be friends with ex-partner, some agree that it is possible only if they are happy with our current relationship. Then it can be possible, at a different level, say some of my friends.

They say that it is possible to reconcile with ex-husband or ex-lover. One of my friends talks to his former girlfriend now as a mere friend. She is married now and he’s happy that he has met the right person after losing her. He is happy with his girl and he doesn’t feel anything while talking to his former one.

His new girl knows everything and she does not object to it. They both trust each other and do not hide anything. Not to forget, it can not happen if he loses this girl. Hope that never happens, for they are getting married shortly. He thinks that he can’t be a friend to her if he loses her, for he has lots of plans and his life is associated with her. He cannot imagine seeing her as the wife of someone else!

If people have new flings they feel quite comfortable to maintain a friendship with their former partners. If your ex-partner has a fling and you are finding it difficult to accept the fact, then it shows that you are not happy with your present partner and feeling quite insecure about the relationship.

My colleague tells me that she cannot see her ex-partner with his new girlfriend. She feels that the new girl has something in her, which my colleague lacked. She sometimes feels jealous of her also. Sometimes I have even seen her invariably comparing herself to the new girl of her former boyfriend.

A friendship can not be forced upon, it should be a mutual decision and it depends on the mutual understanding. But how can they mutually accept each other as friends? If there was that mutual understanding, they would have not split. They part off only because of the lack of it, and once a sweet relationship goes off, that’s the end. We can not turn back to have friendship with that person again.

But one should always remember while making friendship with the ex-flame that he/she is no more a part of our life and expectations should be low. They can not be taken for granted as was done earlier.

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