World goes gaga over Chihuahuas

I just heard about this Paris Hilton Syndrome and thought it’s about her fashion statement. Partially yes. It’s not just about her fashion statement, it’s about her Chihuahua which has made people to call Paris Hilton Syndrome! I heard that people in the US are looking out for Chihuahuas, fashionable Chihuahuas to say the least.

The small trendy dog with pointed ears and oversized eyes is taking up space to a degree never seen before. Stars own them and people are going crazy to own them as well.

Celebrities like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff and Mickey Rourke are often seen in public sporting Chihuahuas. Actress Reese Witherspoon’s character in Naturally Blond also had a Chihuahua called Bruiser.  These people have helped turn the breed into a fashionable accessory.


I wonder, if people really care for those tiny animals. They might think that Chihuahuas are small and can fit into a handbag that they would have a cool companion. But they should also think that having a dog means giving it a lot of care and training or that the breed is susceptible to sickness and costs a lot of money to keep healthy. They might not feel the pinch of having such breeds till they get high veterinary costs which can ruin the fun of having them at home.

I always love dogs and have them around. It’s been my dream that my children should also grow around them. But I make sure that I don’t blindly imitate any celeb to have a dog. I keep in my mind my needs and necessities before owning one. People should think if they have enough space, time and not the least good financial condition to support dogs if they get any foreign breeds.

Is it easy to bury the hatchet with ex-flame?

It is popularly believed that it is very difficult to bury the hatchet with ex-flame. But contrary to the popular belief, George Clooney is still friends with his ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson two months after they ended their year-long relationship. In an interview to a British magazine Larson said that she had no regrets about the romance, and revealed the pair still talks and she misses his sense of humour and dancing. “We still remain friends and have kept in touch. In fact, we spoke over the phone a couple of days ago,” she admitted.

The scene is no different in India. Even though Kareena Kapoor is a new entrant in the life of Saif Ali Khan, no one can forget that when Saif was hospitalised, Amrita Singh was there to attend calls and people who showered wishes on him, despite knowing Rossa was in his life. Singer and actress Suchitra Krishnamurthy is sometimes seen with her divorced husband Shekhar Kapoor, and says she is still “Karmically attached to her husband.”

But can an intimate relationship that has gone sour be resurrected? The answer is not that simple as it depends on the persons and the depth of their relationship. If both are ready to bury the hatchet and be good friends, it can happen at any time.

When a person decides to go off from a relationship, he/she thinks a lot to arrive at that crucial conclusion. It does not happen without giving a second thought. When the relationship begins, it becomes intimate. It always rests on high expectations, passion, romance, love and the entire life is associated with the person.

Some feel that ex-partner can not be a friend at all. If the relationship turns sour, it can not be got back, it can not become sweet. One of my friends says that she cannot chat with her ex-flame as a friend, for he would be the person once a major part of her life. She had a very bitter experience in love and her boyfriend left her in lurch two-three years ago. Though she cannot forget him, she cannot have friendship with him. She had dreamt and planned her life with him, and how can anyone expect her to be his friend?

What if after the break-up, they have fallen in love again? Though it is difficult to be friends with ex-partner, some agree that it is possible only if they are happy with our current relationship. Then it can be possible, at a different level, say some of my friends.

They say that it is possible to reconcile with ex-husband or ex-lover. One of my friends talks to his former girlfriend now as a mere friend. She is married now and he’s happy that he has met the right person after losing her. He is happy with his girl and he doesn’t feel anything while talking to his former one.

His new girl knows everything and she does not object to it. They both trust each other and do not hide anything. Not to forget, it can not happen if he loses this girl. Hope that never happens, for they are getting married shortly. He thinks that he can’t be a friend to her if he loses her, for he has lots of plans and his life is associated with her. He cannot imagine seeing her as the wife of someone else!

If people have new flings they feel quite comfortable to maintain a friendship with their former partners. If your ex-partner has a fling and you are finding it difficult to accept the fact, then it shows that you are not happy with your present partner and feeling quite insecure about the relationship.

My colleague tells me that she cannot see her ex-partner with his new girlfriend. She feels that the new girl has something in her, which my colleague lacked. She sometimes feels jealous of her also. Sometimes I have even seen her invariably comparing herself to the new girl of her former boyfriend.

A friendship can not be forced upon, it should be a mutual decision and it depends on the mutual understanding. But how can they mutually accept each other as friends? If there was that mutual understanding, they would have not split. They part off only because of the lack of it, and once a sweet relationship goes off, that’s the end. We can not turn back to have friendship with that person again.

But one should always remember while making friendship with the ex-flame that he/she is no more a part of our life and expectations should be low. They can not be taken for granted as was done earlier.

Will a ‘common man’ throw food?

I was shocked to see Pravesh Rana, former Mr India, one of the finalists in Bigg Boss, throwing food articles in the swimming pool. He repeatedly said that his act was to teach the two inmates a lesson and show what a ‘common man’ can do. Though I didn’t realise why he was doing so, I had to ask my friends and go through the previous episodes, which I had missed, to know reason. But whatever be the reason, he losing his temper seemed to me like he’s trying to follow Rahul Mahajan who came out of the game just before the grand finale of the show.

What is actually happening inside? I think he’s feeling insecure from Vindu Dara Singh’s relaxed attitude in the house. Moreover, I feel he’s a shrewd player and knows very well that he doesn’t have a chance of winning against Poonam Dhillon and Vindu Dara Singh, and so started playing emotional card of being a ‘common man’. And may be that’s the reason why he’s pleading with the audience that every common man should vote him, as he was one of them. I think he’s worried that Vindu and Poonam’s celebrity status may cut down his votes. He is projecting himself as a ‘common man’, who is fighting against the celebrities.

I wonder how and when did he become a common man? He’s a celebrity after winning becoming Mr India in 2008. ANd when the game is near to end, he’s ‘realising’ and wants to imitate the virtues of a common man!

When Poonam tried to explain him, he still said that there were other things more important than “his throwing the food in the pool”.

I wanted to see what would be the reaction of Pravesh about his behaviour. I wondered if at all he would regret his action.

Poonam Dhillon advised him to not take things to heart. She told him that he is on the sunshine of his career and a loving, cordial behaviour will take him places.

Vindu Dara Singh also told him later that before throwing food, he should have thought about what his friends and family would think about the incident and of course, about him!

Not surprisingly, Pravesh said he was sorry to hurt Poonam and Vindu, from the angle of respect towards their age, but never seemed to be apologetic about his action!

He openly told Poonam that he had decided to make the Bigg Boss house a living hell for its inmates by throwing all the food provision in the pool.

Keeping aside all this, let me think this way. Does a common man not have respect for food? Our parents and teachers taught us to respect food and to never waste it. How far is it right to waste food just to capture attention? Do these people really know how several people struggle for one square meal?

We see many children going hungry. Which common will dump food like him? He made sure to cut tomatoes and throw, so that they cannot be used again! I never expected a celebrity, oh sorry, a ‘common man’ to be so mean! :(

Think before extending family

When Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso advised his countrymen: “If you don’t have money, you’d better not get married. It seems rather difficult to me for someone without means to win people’s respect.” Not many realised his words, for it drew much criticism from across the world. But I sincerely feel that what he intended was to tell youth to not get kids without saving or having a good salary to take care of them.

It’s been almost two years and I have heard so much from my in-laws, relatives, friends and even colleagues to have a kid soon. It hurts when people call me barren behind me. We were even more hurt when my husband’s wife delivered a baby and I was not even informed about it and when we went to see the baby they didn’t even allow me to take the
baby, as I was childless. We both were shocked when my husband’s father openly told me not to attend the baby’s naming ceremony. Parents expect us to get a kid within one year of marriage. And we know our responsibilities and commitments but we fail to make them understand. Not that we have some problem in getting kids, but we are yet to make up our mind for children. It’s not that we are not in a good position but we want to give the best for our child. We hope that the humiliation we both have undergone for the past few months will prove to be worth one day or the other. When we aspire for a certain lifestyle, we should achieve it first by reaching that financial status. Of course, no one can stop us from getting a child, but we are not ready to make any kind of compromises for that.

When it comes to marriage and kids, the rules are different for guys and girls. A guy has to be in a position to take responsibility of his wife if she chooses not to work and the kid. But as today’s woman, I enjoy financial independence and contribute just as much to the family kitty. In Indian culture, it’s usually the parents who pay for the delivery and hospital charges but even then, one needs to have security before taking such a big step. From our wedding to honeymoon, we have paid ourselves and have not been burden so far. Right from the wedding to setting up house to planning a family, there is a long list of expenses and we feel that it’s a big commitment. We both strongly feel that both of us should have at least six months’ income on hand for emergencies and both should have surplus income to save after the monthly expenses. When we plan to start a family, we need separate savings for the child.

Though it is sure that the buffer against many storms of life are stable relationships with friends and loved ones, sound economic condition and savings make a lot of difference. I have even heard that in Africa, a person cannot get married easily until he is financially stable.

If people say marriage may not have to depend on ones financial status, they have to think twice. To build a family and have children certainly require a lot of money. Our kids will not be able to compete on level playing field if we are not financially able to nurture them. I have seen my friends who were born into big families  with eight to nine siblings. How my friends wished that their parents had not given birth to them! The cost of bringing up children is becoming
astronomically high.

We don’t favour having children without at least a continuous income which leaves extra money after paying all bills is.

My man is an excellent husband who not only worships the ground that I walk on but also respects my ideas and plans. He agrees with me that producing a child is a major financial responsibility that not everyone can handle.

I think that a couple should wait to have children until they are ready. Establish yourself as a person, find a good job and save money so at least the problems can be avoided. It’s not demoralizing marriage, its strengthening it and improving the quality of life and the relationship so a person need not have to worry about financial condition. Yes, love should be the reason for marriage but unfortunately its not the only thing to sustain it. Love alone cannot
ensure that your child has food, clothing, the things he or she needs to have a quality life. It might be nice to think so, but it’s not true. I think that’s part of loving a child, making sure he or she has the basics. We don’t want to depend on other people or the government for our children. Will the society and our relatives understand this? Will they stop staring at us and questioning?

How many more states?

Now, that TRS chief K. Chandrasekhar Rao has succeeded in getting the nod from the Centre for a separate state for Telangana, he will be considered to be a hero. Earlier, Potti Sriramulu had resorted to the same method and Nehru had to yield to the demand for Andhra Pradesh and bifurcation of states on linguistic basis.

Sardar Vallbhai Patel brought 500 provinces together after Independence and gave us one united India. And now, leaders, rather say, separatists are hell-bent on making separate states.

A seperate statehood during 1968-69 was meaningful and possible because most of the Telangana area was predominantly occupied by locals and few people were settlers from other states and Andhra region. People of Telangana are not on par with the people of Andhra and Telangana is backward compared to Andhra in various factors. Now, after 40 years, a sea change has taken place in Andhra Pradesh, including Telangana.

The creation of Telangana state will definitely have a ripple effect on the length and breadth of the country, leading to further balkanization of the country. It will encourage regionalism, linguistic chauvinism and fanaticism. Though smaller states with compact areas may witness better development, the experience with Chattisgarh with huge mineral resources, has taught a good lesson to people. It has witnessed unparalleled looting of state’s mineral resources by politicians, who have feathered their nests by leasing the mines to private parties.

When the whole world is thinking in terms of globalization, people in Andhra Pradesh apparently seem to remain local and don’t want to move ahead with the rest of the world in race for development.

How genuine is the demand for a separate state? Unlike Uttar Pradesh, Andhra Pradesh is geographically not that vast. Telangana may lose the advantage of unified Andhra Pradesh, as the coastal Andhra is rich in agriculture and Rayalseema has vast mineral wealth. The new state may not be economically viable.

Now that the Centre has agreed to the political pressure, there will be a demand for a large number of such new states like Rayalseema, Vidarbha, Saurashtra, Hareet Pradesh, Bundelkhand, Purvanchal Pradesh, Bodoland, Gorkhaland. Not just there, even in Karnataka, people will seek separate states for Coorg and North Karnataka, which will only further jeopardize the integrity of the country.

Creating a seperate state will not solve the problems of Telangana, but will add additional problems for the new state. Instead of creating a new state, the Centre could have generated more employment opportunities, establishment of large and small scale industries, eradication of illiteracy, child labor, poverty and gender equality. It could have supported agricultural sector and helped in bringing down the prices of essential food grains and meet the basic needs of a common man.

The Centre should have thought of resolving the issue which is acceptable to all regions instead of unilaterally imposing a decision. Anyways, it is time to roll up sleeves and get down to smart work. It is time for leaders to develop all fields — education, science and technology, trade and commerce — to make Telangana’s economy a strong and vibrant one.

Face family and world after revealing the truth!

Many times I and my hubby have watched ‘The Moment of Truth’, an American reality show on TV. The truth sometimes startled us and sometimes we wondered what if it enters Indian television. And so did it happen. Star Plus channel began to air ‘Sach Ka Saamna’ (Face the Truth).

The questions asked by the anchor in the programme were startling. They ranged from simple to complex, simple because they are about our won life, complex because they are about infidelity, incest and other taboo subjects. We feel that those questions are not suitable for unrestricted public exhibition, especially keeping in view Indian culture and ethos. The answers can ruin relationships, ruin the lives of participants in future.

A polygraphic test indicates whether the answers are true or false. A false answer means an exit from the show.

Though as audience, we feel it is the world’s simplest show, one has to realise that it is still the most difficult game show as one has to speak nothing but the truth to survive through each level. Each passing level questions get tougher, more personal and increasingly edgy, putting the contestants and the family and friends in trouble.

On the very first day, host Rajeev Khandelwal grilled Smita Matai and extracted all truth from her. At the end, when she was asked if she wanted to have affair with another man without her husband’s knowledge, she said “No”. But the Polygraph machine termed her answer to be “False”, much to the shock and surprise of Smita and her family members, including her husband. Her husband looked dejected, while Smita kept claiming that it was not true.

It’s sure that participants can win a sum of Rs 10 million, but at what cost? Revealing personal information in public! How can money won in such shows bring about a positive change and help the contestants shed their baggage and lead a better life?

Many suspicious men and women among audience would be thinking sending their partners to the show to know the truth. But will they be able to tolerate the truth coming out in front of all? Will the relationship survive? Will a man or a woman accept that their partners had cheated or will cheat them in future? How many men will accept their wives if they come to know that they have had an affair (physical) with another man? I and my hubby had a long debate over the issue and he keeps telling me that past doesn’t matter if the woman is faithful in the present as well as in the future. Bury the past and look into the future. But how far is it possible?

I remember Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles here. Tess tries to confess about her past to Angel Claire before the wedding, but in vain. But after the wedding the first thing she wants to do is reveal everything about her past. But before she could confess, Angel confesses to her that he once had a brief affair with an older woman in London. When she hears the story, Tess feels that Angel will forgive her own indiscretion, and finally tells him about her relationship with Alec and about her baby Sorrow, who died within few days. Angel, however, is appalled by Tess’s confession and spends the wedding night sleeping on a sofa outside. Devastated Tess accepts the sudden estrangement of her husband as something she deserves. After a few awkward, awful days, she suggests that they separate, telling Angel that she will return to her parents. Angel gives her some money and promises to try to reconcile himself to her past, but warns her not to try to join him until he sends for her. After a quick visit to his parents, Angel takes ship for Brazil to start a new life. Before he leaves, he encounters Izz Huett on the road and impulsively asks her to come to Brazil with him, as his mistress. She accepts, but when he asks her how much she loves him, she admits: “Nobody could love you more than Tess. She would have laid down her life for you. I could do no more!” Hearing this, he abandons his whim of taking a mistress along with him to Brazil.

Not just in novels, many such incidents do happen in our life also. When men confess about their extra-marital affairs or their past affairs women, accept them open-heartedly, but there are very few instances where men have accepted women unconditionally. A man wants his wife to be solely his. He will not be ready to share his love. He wants to be the first and the last man in the life of his wife.

Under such circumstances, how can a man tolerate if his wife tells the truth that she had an affair or wants to have an affair, or is living with her husband only because of the children and not because of love?!

Dogs can be great stress busters

After Dinku passed away, my dad is so engrossed in other things that he hardly finds time to indulge in a fitness routine, forget about going for a morning walk. It was not the same with him earlier. He had a walking partner in Dinku, who liked to jump at the mention of walk in morning. Evening he gave company to my mom. Together, they used to go for a walk, rather say, a fitness walk. Now, I feel how dogs come to the rescue of human beings, acting as true friends as well perfect walking companions. Health is wealth and a dog at home can help maintain health of the family and save money. If there is health, no need to frequently visit the doc [docs will curse the dogs ;) ].

Dinku always had time for us, come rain or sunshine. He had to be taken for a walk twice in a day. It made my parents to take him along for a walk regularly. So, even if they were not in the mood for a walk, he kept them pestering, till they gave in and put on their walking shoes. When he was there, they hardly missed their walking sessions.

Dogs can be great companions. Once my parents developed a routine of walking with him, he ensured that they follow it on a regular basis, that too at a fixed time. He never ever let them forget that it is the time for them to get up and get going! Specially, he had that capability of charging my dad up, enhancing his energy levels, so that he walked faster and with much more enthusiasm. Need not to say that it burned more calories and improved his overall fitness levels. People never believe that he has crossed 60 years! Dinku served as a great stress buster and walking with him helped us forget all our worries and relax our mind as well.

I strongly feel that walking with dogs or say dog walking is one of the cheapest and most enjoyable ways to ensure fitness. My dad has made several friends. Many small kids in the neighbourhood talk to him and fondly approach him for he allowed them to talk and go close to Dinku. Yeah, Dinku was close and loves to play with children :) Not just children, if we walk with our dog, we end up making new friends as well.

Why elect people with criminal background?

I was shocked to see the picture of notorious gangster Vikas Dubey, taken like a dog, to file his nomination for Vishrampur Assembly seat in Medininagar, Jharkhand, on Tuesday.

Notorious gangster Vikas Dubey before filing his nomination for Vishrampur Assembly seat seat in Medininagar, Jharkhand on Tuesday.

Why does it happen like this in India? Gangsters, dons, mafia and people with criminal background often use their muscle and money power and emerge victorious in the polls. Why do parties filed such candidates? Is it only because they get unlimited funds to fight polls? In return, they give criminals protection from the law and respect in society. Where is India heading towards? Is this the kind of Ram Rajya which Gandhiji often dreamt of?

Candidates facing over dozen criminal cases, including murder, attempt to murder, kidnapping, extortion, loot and land grabbing, also file nominations.

The country has indeed come a full circle. Yesterday’s criminals are today’s honourables with their “bullet-proof vests.” They are the law and are very powerful. Some dons get elected from prisons, some hold meetings in jail, with all comforts, and instruct their followers by mobile phones and rule their empire, issuing orders that few dare to disobey.

When our politics is filled with candidates with criminal backgrounds, how can we expect to remove crime from the country?

I wonder why does the Election Commission makes it mandatory for candidates to disclose details of their criminal background, if any, along with their assets and liabilities while filing nominations? Is it really meant to weed out criminals or a mere disclosure?

Sometimes, I seriously feel that the laws mentioning about the word ‘criminal cases’ are not properly defined. When is a person called a criminal according to the law?  When he is punished by the court as a criminal. As everybody knows, fighting legal cases in India is a marathon process. It takes years, sometimes decades, after a person is arrested. So candidates come out clean and file nominations.

Normally, permission for going abroad or appearing in any interview cannot be granted to a person against whom a case is pending in the court. Then, how can the law allow criminals to run the affair of the state?

India is filled with illiterates and poor people. All they need is some hope, a hope which keeps them happy, even for a short while! It is time for voters, who are in a slumber and are easily swayed by the lure of lucre, to wake up before things go out of control.

Pic courtesy: Google

Kurbaan — Old wine in new bottle?

I still wonder why Vij went gaga over Kurbaan. He was very appreciative about Saifeena starred film which compelled me to watch it.

Avantika (Kareena Kapoor), a psychology professor in New York, comes to India to be with her ailing father. She joins Delhi University and meets Ehsaan Khan (Saif Ali Khan) a teacher teaching about Islam and its studies.

As expected the duo fall in love and despite reservations about Ehsaan being a Muslim, Avantika’s father agrees for their wedding, before both leave for New York to start a new life.

In New York, Avantika finds a job for Ehsaan at a local University. They start looking out for a house and Ehsaan doesn’t seem to like any of the houses. Finally, through an advertisement, Avantika finds a house which even Ehsaan also likes.

Their neighbours are conservative Muslims and they invite the couple for dinner. At dinner, she is taken away from Ehsaan into another quarter where the women of the house dine separately. The inmates of the neighbourhood seem to blindly obey Nasreen and her Bhaijaan. Salma visits Avantika the next day and asks her not to trust anyone. She reveals that her own life is in danger and she needs help from her friend who is a journalist.

Avantika meets Salma’s friend and seeks her help. Even before Salma could get any help, she is killed by the inmates of the house. Avantika is shocked to know that her husband Ehsaan is also involved with them and is in fact a terrorist.

Terrorists bomb the flight carrying the UN delegation and a few journalists, including Salma’s friend. Salma’s boyfriend pitches in to help Avantika later.

A series of bizarre events turn Avantika’s life upside down and drive her into a morass of emotions that spin madly out of control.

Avantika comes to know that Ehsaan was married earlier and had lost his wife and four-year-old child in Pakistan. Though they give reasons for being terrorists, nothing seem to convince Avantika. She feels very lonely and does not want to give birth to Ehsaan’s baby.

With the help of Avantika, the journalist joins the group of Ehsaan and goes ahead to execute a plan when a former colleague recognises the journalist. Hell breaks loose and the journalist shoots at Bhaijaan. Bhaijaan dies, not before calling Nasreen to execute the plan of bombing major places.

Ehsaan becomes wild when he realises that Avantika is also being used as a suicide bomber. Both he and the journalist, separately, go in search of Avantika and Ehsaan finds her and kills Nasreen before defusing the bomb hidden in Avantika’s handbag.

As the journey of evil is short lived, cops surround the duo and Ehsaan is fatally wounded. The most touching scene is when Avantika asks Ehsaan: “What’s your name, real name?”

The film ends with a tragic tone, death and terror, which of course has no end.

After watching the film, I could just say that the film has similarities with New York. Kareena’s role has similar shades to that of Katrina Kaif’s in New York. Both Katrina and Kareena play wives to husbands who are actually terrorists. Both try to mend the ways of their husbands, but in the course of time fail to do so and meet a tragic end. At least, New York offred a visual treat with its beautiful locations and I’m still wondering what did Vij find so capturing in Kurbaan!

A glimpse of General Bazaar

On Monday, we were on a shopping spree and went to General Bazaar. Taraka bought me two beautiful silver lamps as my birthday gift and I wanted to buy an idol of Ganesha with the right side trunk. We visited several shops in search of the right kind of idol, but in vain.

General Bazaar is located in secunderabad, MG road. One can avail this place for shopping to the fullest. The market over here is the best for all kinds of people and for all occasions. General Bazaar, is the second largest wholesale market after Begum Bazaar.

This road was earlier called James Street and after Indian independence, following convention, a major street in every city in India was named Mahatma Gandhi Road. There is a statue of Mahatma Gandhi on the road. The road leads to a warren of streets called Tobacco Bazaar and Pot Market.

I had never seen so many silver and gold shops in a single stretch and we found many wholesalers in this market area. Several silver shops have unmatchable varieties from one shop to the other. The fine work of their workers is so beautiful and we found lots of variety like dining sets, lamps, plates glasses, and every possible item with silver for all kinds of customers.

Sarees with zardosi work, sarees with plain self works, plain sarees, patch works, kanchi pattu sarees, venkatagiri sarees, gadwal sarees, bengali cotton sarees, graden sarees, printed cotton sarees, samudrika pattu sarees, and almost each and every variety of sarees are found in and around the bazaar.

Taraka bought me a dress material, which we found at an outlet at a very nominal price.

We saw shops selling decorative household itemsbook shops, stationary, footwear and others.

While returning home, we found several wholesale shops of utensils in steel, aluminium, copper, plastics and others. I told Taraka that I would like to visit the place again, but with my hubby dear (then I need not pay for whatever I buy ;) !

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